My Current Goals

While I was pregnant with my daughter my diabetes management was right on point. My a1c had never been better. I was on top of my blood sugars and was able to keep them in a very tight range. Staying on top of my diabetes was about the only thing on my mind though - it was draining.

After the birth of my daughter it became a dramatically different story. Since having my little Layla I have not been able to stay in a good range and she will be 3 this year. My doctor who is sadly retiring, has repeatedly told me I need to just get pregnant again so I will be forced to control my diabetes. He doesn't mean this literally, obviously getting pregnant with high blood sugars is never a good idea.

It has been a struggle to put diabetes first though, before taking care of her. For a long time it felt like I had forgotten how to take care of myself all together. I was only 19 when I had my daughter and it was a huge adjustment becoming a mother. I would not change it for the world but it was not easy but I know it's not easy at any age.

I know that I can't take care of her at all if I'm not here though. Tackling this issue is a number one priority in my life now and will continue to be. I'm finally getting back to a place where I feel I can actually do this. I may have been going through a little denial phase after having my little girl.

I just didn't want to think about the testing, bolusing, infusion set, alarms, and trips to the pharmacy. I was just over all of it. I didn't want to be a diabetic, I didn't want to have to constantly think about it. I couldn't and I was done. Like I said, I was in complete denial about how serious this is. Maybe I just needed to rebel against it for a little while.

I recently had a doctors appointment that scared me straight. My a1c was at an all time high and my doctor decided to put me on a daily Asprin to help avoid a future heart attack. HEART ATTACK! I'm only 22, and I was 21 at the time. This broke my heart, I felt this wasn't fair. I would ask myself the question I'm sure many of us has ask, why me?

What is really not fair though would be me putting my daughter in a situation where she could lose her Mom. So now I think to myself...I can do this! I can do better, I've done it before! Plus, I'll do anything you.

Well here I am, trying my hardest to get my control back. My last appointment went better my a1c had come down but still not a place I would like to stay at.

My next appointment is in December and my goal is be under 6.5, I can live with that.

I also plan to lose about 35 pounds. I got married when my daughter was one years old to her very amazing father. I lost weight when getting ready for the wedding, after I guess I just let myself go. I've gained about 30 pounds since getting married and I definitely feel the extra weight has contributed to my spikes in sugar. This is the heaviest I have ever been, beside when I pregnant.

So these are my current goals for a better healthier life style. I'm not using the word 'diet' at all, because I'm not on a diet, I'm simply trying to eat healthier and clean.