Food Obsessed

Growing up I always struggled with wanting to lose weight. I wasn't always healthy in my attempts to shed a few pounds either. I remember my parents telling me it wasn't good to obsess over food, and I completely agree. I'd rather be chubby and know I eat healthy, than skinny and starving.

It's still hard though, especially lately since I've gained a decent amount of weight and my attempts to lose the weight have been unsuccessful. It doesn't bother me nearly as much as did when I was a kid though. Now I look back and think, 'Wow, you were so dumb, I'd love to be that size now.'

I'm pretty positive about losing weight though, even though I haven't been able to lose any. I figure it will come off eventually I just have to keep eating right and not worry so much about it. I have a man who loves me just the way I am, and a family who thinks I'm beautiful... so you know what? I'll have to agree with them. I'm just taking it one day at a time and not letting it get to me.

I've noticed though I'm still obsessed with food, but it's not just because of weight loss anymore. Being a diabetic I have no other choice but to focus on what I'm eating. This can be hard, this can be draining, especially for someone who has spent so much of her life wanting to lose weight and being so focused on food.

Who wants to spend all day thinking about that? Nobody should have to be a slave to the food they eat. Sometimes I feel that way. That food rules my life, or at least my diabetes. There are positives that come along with it though.

Sometimes I'll think 'that has way to many carbs and I don't want to have to give myself that much insulin', so I may pick something easier for me to eat.

Sometimes my family and friends remind me I probably shouldn't eat that second cookie, because it's not good for my diabetes (at least it's not because they're worried I'll gain another pound, haha)

In a way it has forced me to learn how to eat healthy and make better choice. It also forced me to get over trying to starve myself to lose weight... which in the long run just makes you gain more weight anyway!

Diabetes taught me how to eat a balanced meal and diet, so thank you for that. It has taught me to accept myself, so thank you for that. It has also taught me that I actually can be in control because diabetes doesn't control me I control her, so thank you for that!